Awkward conversations with non-historians

[Evan]

Ever hear a neighbor, officemate, etc. make a reference to football history, leaving you wondering how deep their knowledge is?

For instance, after I mentioned that my fandom of the Vikings went back to the second Tarkenton era, a co-worker said “Oh yeah, Gale Sayers played for them.”

The fact that he knew Gale Sayers meant he had some sense of football history, but obviously he was confused thinking he was on the Vikings. So I steered the conversation into another topic to avoid any other awkward errors.

So, wouldn’t it be great if you could read a football historian score on someone’s forehead before engaging them in conversation? Maybe that score could come from a 10-question quiz to gauge expertise, for instance:

1. One of the founders of the NFL was:
a. George Washington
b. George Harrison
c. George Halas
d. George Herman Ruth

2. The Cleveland Browns originally were in which league?
a. AFL
b. AAFC
c. NFLPA
d. ABA

3. Who scored the winning touchdown in overtime in the 1958 NFL championship game?
a. Alan Ameche
b. Don Ameche
c. Don Unitas
d. Steve Guttenberg

4. Vince Lombardi was the head coach of what team?
a. New York Giants
b. Baltimore Colts
c. Dallas Cowboys
d. Green Bay Packers

5. Which of the following did NOT win a Super Bowl MVP for the Steelers?
a. Lynn Swann
b. Joe Greene
c. Franco Harris
d. Terry Bradshaw

6. Which of the following teams has won a Super Bowl?
a. New York Jets
b. Minnesota Vikings
c. Atlanta Falcons
d. Cincinnati Bengals

7. Joe Namath finished his career with which team in 1977?
a. Dallas Cowboys
b. New York Jets
c. St. Louis Cardinals
d. Los Angeles Rams

8. The NFL Commissioner who decided teams should play the weekend after the JFK assassination was:
a. Bert Bell
b. Joe Foss
c. Pete Rozelle
d. Bowie Kuhn

9. The NFL team that won all 17 of its games (14 regular season, 3 post-season) in 1972 was:
a. New England Patriots
b. Seattle Seahawks
c. Dallas Cowboys
d. Miami Dolphins

10. The quarterback who threw for the most yards in an NFL game (554 yards) is:
a. Norm Van Brocklin
b. Johnny Lujack
c. Sid Luckman
d. Sammy Baugh

The grading scale would be something like:
6-10 questions right: You should check out the PFRA Forum, I think you’d enjoy it.
3-5 questions right: Not bad. Read any good football books lately?
0-2 questions right: Let’s move on to other topics … seen any good movies lately?

Ever have these kinds of thoughts after similarly awkward conversations?

[JohnR]

Slightly off topic...When my girlfriend & I announced our engagement at a B-day bash, I went "Diner" on her. (The film "Diner" takes place in Baltimore 1959 and in it the fiancé has to pass a Colts football quiz prior to wedding) She has no interest in sports and all her friends are quite aware of this. I worked with her for a few weeks, running two questions past her repeatedly: What coach won championships in both leagues, first w/ the Colts, then with the Jets. Easy peezy, right? She kept coming up with Ewbie Banks for some reason. Worked a bit on the legendary '60s coach of the Packers: Guy Lombardi was a frequent answer. I'm proud to say at the party she nailed Weeb Ewbank (to the shock of those assembled) and we've been married 17 years.

[JohnTurney]

Slightly off topic...When my girlfriend & I announced our engagement at a B-day bash, I went "Diner" on her. (The film "Diner" takes place in Baltimore 1959 and in it the fiancé has to pass a Colts football quiz prior to wedding) She has no interest in sports and all her friends are quite aware of this. I worked with her for a few weeks, running two questions past her repeatedly: What coach won championships in both leagues, first w/ the Colts, then with the Jets. Easy peezy, right? She kept coming up with Ewbie Banks for some reason. Worked a bit on the legendary '60s coach of the Packers: Guy Lombardi was a frequent answer. I'm proud to say at the party she nailed Weeb Ewbank (to the shock of those assembled) and we've been married 17 years.

Going "Diner" on a girl is cool as long as you are not being Boogie and doing what he did to Carol Heathrow with the popcorn

[Mark L. Ford]

So, wouldn’t it be great if you could read a football historian score on someone’s forehead before engaging them in conversation? Maybe that score could come from a 10-question quiz to gauge expertise, for instance:

Luckily, most people don't have numbers on their foreheads-- the Steelers and the Giants and NHL teams are some exceptions to the rule. Are there any other NFL teams that have numbers on the front of the helmets, or plan to this year? Not a trivia question, just wondering.

[JuggernautJ]

Regarding Diner:
Setting: about 1995 or so between games with the Juggernauts. We were resting on the sidelines, discussing Life, the Universe and Everything.
One of our players "Tall Dave" (called such to differentiate him from "Bear Dave," who always wore his Bears hat) was mentioning his upcoming wedding plans.
John, one of our several class clowns, asked him if he was going to give his fiancee Anne the "Diner Test."
"You know," said John "Like, when was the last time the Browns won the Super Bowl?"
I looked at John with scorn and reprimanded him: "The Browns have never won a Super Bowl. Their last NFL Title was in 1964, before the Super Bowl era."
"So," John instantly replied "If Anne can't pass the test you can always marry Jay!"

Regarding OP:
And further back, in the late 80's I was an Apprentice in the Printing Trade and got into a discussion with a Journeyman who was a life-long 49ers fan. He insisted that the 'Niners and the Rams had always been in the same division and that the 49ers originated in the NFL. I told him the entire history of the AAFC and he simply refused to believe me.
"No, Jay. The Rams and 49ers have been arch-rivals since the day the teams were founded."

I couldn't convince him and this was before the internet... I wonder if he ever learned...

[ChrisBabcock]

Slightly off topic...When my girlfriend & I announced our engagement at a B-day bash, I went "Diner" on her. (The film "Diner" takes place in Baltimore 1959 and in it the fiancé has to pass a Colts football quiz prior to wedding) She has no interest in sports and all her friends are quite aware of this. I worked with her for a few weeks, running two questions past her repeatedly: What coach won championships in both leagues, first w/ the Colts, then with the Jets. Easy peezy, right? She kept coming up with Ewbie Banks for some reason. Worked a bit on the legendary '60s coach of the Packers: Guy Lombardi was a frequent answer. I'm proud to say at the party she nailed Weeb Ewbank (to the shock of those assembled) and we've been married 17 years.

I take pride in the fact that my lovely wife can correctly name the 4 members of every current NFL division when asked.

[BD Sullivan]

Regarding three of the questions and using a Diner-style approach, don't let the lady out of your sight if she notes during her answers that Don Ameche was a part-owner of the AAFC Los Angeles Dons, that Namath was drafted by the Cardinals and that the 1948 Browns were the first team to win a title undefeated.

Of course, teams themselves make embarrassing blunders: one of the early media guides of the "new" Browns made a mention of "Gayle" Sayers.

[74_75_78_79_]

Diner...awesome, Classic flick!

[Todd Pence]

I remember one time in the mid-1990's reading an issue of the magazine FOOTBALL DIGEST. Now this was a magazine that was written at about the third grade reading level. I don't know if it marketed itself to juveniles or what.
Anyway, there was an article in this issue that was about the greatest running backs, or greatest players, or most valuable football cards, or something like that. One of the players under discussion in this article was Jim Brown. I do remember clearly the writer of the article opined that Brown could never be considered a truly great running back because he never won a Super Bowl ring.
Hopefully I don't have to explain the idiocy of that statement to others on this forum.

[JohnH19]

Football Digest was actually very good back in the 70s, when I read it, so it's surprising to hear that a grievous error like that would make it to print. I still have my 1973-78 collection and enjoy flipping through them from time to time.