Your "All-Cool" Teams

[Evan]

Here is my all-time, "all-cool" team. Who would be on yours?

#1 evan
Posted 25 March 2011 - 04:00 PM

In watching the NFL players of today, there’s something about the absurdly tight sleeveless jerseys, the overmuscled RBs, WRs and TEs, the disgustingly fat offensive and defensive linemen, the murky, blurry tattoos, the thick gloves on every player, the chin straps that bisect the helmet logo, and the thin, scythe-like kickers that just looks wrong. They just don’t look ... cool.

Coolness is a hard metric to define, but the NFL players in the era before about 1990 had a much smoother athletic look than the clumsy, stomping look of today’s player. And some players really stood out, whether it was how their image meshed with their team’s colors, or their playing style, athleticism, etc.

So with that in mind, here is a team that would likely be picked differently by every NFL fan. It’s my All-Cool-Looking team. Note: the teams and years designated after a player’s name are not indicative of their entire career, but instead the prime of their coolness, or Prime Cool Years (PCY) in my opinion. In many cases a player did not look as cool when they changed teams, got older, changed uniform styles, etc..

QB - Ken Stabler (PCY - Oakland, 1975-79)
Once he grew his beard, and before he went ghost-white, Stabler was the picture of the pirate quarterback - the absolutely perfect look for the most evocative team in sports history in my opinion.
Honorable Mention:
• Bert Jones (PCY - Baltimore, 1975-77). Before he went to those super-large shoulder pads in 1978, Jones personified the raw-boned Ruston Rifle, sort of the Tom Petty look for quarterbacks.
• Roger Staubach (PCY - Dallas, 1975-79). In the years previous to 1975 Staubach looked kind of dumpy, but changed something -- pants, diet, something -- and became a smooth, streamlined Captain America. The antithesis of Stabler in every way, the clean-cut symbol for a team that never seemed to get their uniforms dirty.
• Joe Namath (PCY – NY Jets 1967-72). The ultimate symbol of 1960s cool, the perfect look, personality, and setting for that era. His coolness surged when the Jets got good, and then ebbed once injuries decimated him.

RB - Eric Dickerson (PCY - LA Rams, 1983-85)
RB - Larry Csonka (PCY - Miami, 1972-74)
In his first three years Dickerson was an incredible sight, running straight up, with that neck roll pad and his goggles, he looked like the proverbial thoroughbred always ready to break away from the pack. Then overuse broke down his running style and the Colts uniform never fit his image the way the Rams jersey did.
Csonka did the impossible - developing a bruising rhino-like image while wearing teal and orange. Can you imagine what this guy would have looked like on the Bears or Steelers? Csonka became cool when he adopted his mustache, and with that signature nose guard on his helmet he had a look like he was about to put his head through your chest and didn’t care if your ribs were hanging from his facemask when he came out the other side.
Honorable Mention:
• Terry Metcalf (PCY - St. Louis, 1974-77). Looked fast even when standing still.
• Marcus Allen (PCY - LA Raiders, 1982-85). A smooth and dignified look that it seemed like Grant Hill later adopted at Duke and the NBA.
• Roger Craig (PCY - San Francisco, 1983-1990). His high-stepping style, and Mike Singletary eyes contributed to a great overall look.
• Mercury Morris (PCY - Miami, 1972-75). Wasn’t around long, but had the right fluid look for the uniform, and the orange headband was trademark 70s cool.
• Billy Sims (PCY - Detroit, 1980-83). Everything Barry Sanders wasn’t - fluid instead of herky-jerky, always looking to get around the corner rather than picking his way through the line.
• Frank Gifford (PCY - New York, 1956-1961). The ultimate in Madison Avenue cool style, a really great athlete.
• Gale Sayers (PCY - Chicago, 1965-68). The coolest looking first step after a cut ever. Just planted his foot and ignited down the field.

WR - John Stallworth (PCY - Pittsburgh, 1974-84)
WR - John Jefferson (PCY - San Diego, 1978-80)
On another team, Stallworth might have become a household name because this guy had every attribute possible - incredible hands, superb balance, long stride, great sideline instinct, willingness to fight for the ball. Possibly the most complete package ever in a WR, but obviously underused because of the Steelers’ offensive philosophy, which you can’t argue with since it yielded four rings. In the Steeler black Stallworth looked athletically lanky, always primed for a huge, game-changing play.
We really haven’t seen anything like Jefferson since his San Diego days, which were one big highlight reel. He brought this gymnastic elasticity to the WR position, smoothly stretching and twisting for impossible catch after catch. With the lightning bolts on his jersey and his yellow goggles matching the yellow facemask, Jefferson looked like some kind of cool new superhero, capable of unearthly plays.
Honorable Mention:
• James Lofton (PCY - Green Bay, 1978-84). He had that dignified Jerry Rice look before Jerry Rice had it. Lofton always looked like the best athlete on the field.
• Charley Taylor (PCY - Washington, 1964-75). By keeping his running back number 42 his whole career, Taylor conveyed a blend of super-athlete, a guy with RB toughness and elusiveness, with WR speed.
• Roger Carr (PCY - Baltimore, 1975-76). A very brief period of coolness, Carr was all about one thing - the fly pattern. And didn’t he make it work well!
• Lance Alworth (PCY - San Diego, 1963-69). The symbol of the AFL’s freewheeling days, didn’t it look like it would be fun to be Alworth for a day sprinting under a spiral in that San Diego sunshine?
• Otis Taylor (PCY - Kansas City, 1966-71). Another rare Stallworth type who had overwhelming athletic ability, looked so good with the ball you wondered how he didn’t get it all the time.
• Jerry Rice (PCY - San Francisco, 1985-95). So manicured in appearance he just exuded dignity and confidence. Always played with an efficient coolness. Did he ever look clumsy or awkward in his whole life? Abrupt stop to the coolness however when he started wearing those Breathe Right strips on his nose. Come on.
• Dwight Clark (PCY - San Francisco, 1980-1983). For a brief period Clark was a symbol of San Francisco’s early 80s underdog quality when teams couldn‘t believe they were losing to them. He was anything but awesome physically, but was so productive he was cool.

TE - Mark Bavaro (PCY - New York, 1985-89)
How did Bavaro not make a guest appearance on the Sopranos? This guy came from central casting as the perfect New Jersey tight end, muscular in an almost threatening way, looking like he was ready to break your thumb for not repaying a loan shark. That brooding expression he always had enhanced his tough-guy coolness.
Honorable Mention:
• John Mackey (PCY - Baltimore, 1963-1968). The ultimate runaway train, Mackey looked big and bold in that Baltimore blue.
• Mike Ditka (PCY - Chicago, 1961-64). A perfect look for a Chicago player, tough and mean.

T - Anthony Munoz (PCY – Cincinnati 1981-88)
T - Joe Jacoby (PCY – Washington 1982-88)
Starting with that first Cincy Super Bowl season, Munoz pulled off the nearly impossible feat for a tackle of being perhaps the most recognizable face on the team. Somehow he came off looking massive and athletic, made you want to jump back in pass blocking formation and just smother a blitzer.
Jacoby was the truest Hog to me, a tower of power who always gave the Redskins an anchor to operate behind. He also had kind of a benevolent personality, the kind of guy who it seemed like would give you an autograph any time you saw him.

G - Gene Upshaw (PCY - Oakland, 1973-78)
G - Conrad Dobler (PCY - St. Louis, 1974-77)
During the prime years of the Raider mystique, Upshaw was one of the most noticeable players, primarily for his absurdly wrapped arms that looked like concrete weapons. He had a cool look that made you want to just back away.
One word describes Dobler’s look - sinister. I don’t even know how to describe his face other than as a potential James Bond villain. Of course Dobler’s play grew to legend with his mean streak, enhancing his coolness even more.
Honorable Mention:
• Reggie McKenzie (PCY – Buffalo, 1972-76). Having the moniker of O.J.’s “Main Man” made him sound cool, and his big smile made him look like a guy having a lot of fun.

C - Dwight Stephenson (PCY - Miami, 1983-86)
Stephenson filled out that Miami uniform to look like this immovable block, determined to keep anything short of a Mack truck from getting to Marino. Perfect blend of mass, muscle and athleticism to look cool as a center.
Honorable Mention:
• Tom Banks (PCY – St. Louis 1974-77). During his prime cool years Banks looked like a cross between a grumpy Dan Haggerty and an actual bear (See his 1977 Topps football card for proof!)

K – (three-way tie) Toni Fritsch (PCY - Houston, 1978-80), Efren Herrera (PCY - Dallas, 1976-77; Seattle, 1978-79), and Fred Cox (PCY - Minnesota, 1963-77).
These three were all fat kickers, the way kickers are supposed to be. They’re supposed to look like they don’t work out, after all they’re not really football players. They’re kickers. We want to believe they have an everyman quality that includes lots of pizza, beer, and naps. That’s what makes it more enjoyable, mystifying and cool when they kick so well. “What? A guy that fat can kick so well? Cool!” All three of these guys had tubby bellies and All-Pro honors to match.
Honorable Mention:
• Tom Dempsey, too many teams to mention. Had the fatness, but his erratic kicking, especially on extra points, downgraded his coolness quotient.

DE - Jack Youngblood (PCY - LA Rams, 1973-79)
DE - Lyle Alzado (PCY - Denver, 1974-78; LA Raiders, 1982-83)
Youngblood had this “primed for a barfight” look about him that was perfect for his hard-charging pass rushes. Agile, fast, and strong, Youngblood looked great crashing the edge and accelerating through the QB. That highlight clip where he swipes at Staubach just as Roger somehow ducks is a great reminder of the threatening coolness Youngblood exuded.
Alzado had a great name. Say it - “Lyle Alzado” - sounds like a pro wrestler or something. Combine that with the tough-looking beard and those crazed eyes, and he was fully set for DE coolness. As the most recognizable part of the Orange Crush, Alzado reached his Denver zenith of coolness in 1977, then did not look cool at all in Cleveland, then reinvented his coolness in Los Angeles. More muscular than ever (although sadly due to steroids), Alzado was undeniably cool-looking in the silver and black.
Honorable Mention:
• Charles Mann (PCY - Washington, 1985-91). One of the first DEs to look like a chiseled body-builder, Mann wasn’t muscle-bound to the point where it compromised his agility. He just looked like a guy who would be impossible to block, and on some days he was.
• Claude Humphrey (PCY - Atlanta, 1970-77). If he was on a better team that got more exposure, he would be remembered better. Still Humphrey had a name that exuded power. He was another great 1970s blend of strength and athleticism, and I thought he looked better in the Falcon red than the earlier black jerseys.

DT - Ernie Holmes (PCY - Pittsburgh, 1974-76)
DT - Joe Greene (PCY - Pittsburgh, 1970-78)
Holmes’ arrowhead haircut and omnipresent smile made him seem menacing and fun, as well as one of the best run-stoppers of all-time. Greene was the face of NFL defense in the 70s, athletic, huge and powerful, with a nickname that made him easily memorable to all fans young and old. Both of these guys looked great in that Steeler black.
Honorable Mention:
• Howie Long (PCY - LA Raiders, 1983-89). Kind of picked up the torch left by Jack Youngblood in terms of Southern California cool, with TV star looks and a tough, athletic style.
• Dave Butz (PCY - Washington, 1982-88). No one remembers him in St. Louis, but in Washington he looked like Peter Boyle playing Frankenstein, kind of a benign but awesome presence that made you root for him.
• Alan Page (PCY - Minnesota, 1967-76). With no arm pads or gloves, Page had a raw look about him that exuded a cool kind of power and strength.


OLB - Isiah Robertson (PCY - LA Rams, 1973-76)
OLB - Lawrence Taylor (PCY - NY Giants, 1981-86)
Once the Rams went from those blue and white jerseys to the blue and gold, Robertson seemingly was on TV all the time, and at full speed either running people down or running away with a pick or a fumble. Had that cool 70s turban-style afro and tough-looking facial hair too.
LT simply looked like he should have been wearing a cape with a superhero logo. Stronger, faster, more agile than anyone of his era, he always looked like he was ready to do something you had never seen before.
Honorable Mention:
• Wilber Marshall (PCY - Chicago, 1984-86). The most athletic-looking of the 80s Bears defenders, Marshall seemed like “LT Lite”, on the verge of inheriting Taylor’s mantle as the Superman of linebackers.

MLB - Ray Nitschke (PCY - Green Bay, 1961-67)
There’s never been a face more suited to play middle linebacker. Nitschke looked like a piece of rock, all hardness and roughness. Impossible to picture him laughing. Just a perfect cool look for an MLB who played in ice and snow, with a name that sounded like something you’d say when you broke a bottle or something.
Honorable Mention:
• Chuck Bednarik (PCY - Philadelphia 1949-62). The face, the voice, the anger – he was perfect theatre for the beautiful brutality of football.
• Dick Butkus (PCY – Chicago 1965-73). There’s a woman in my office who is actually a distant cousin of Butkus, and she couldn’t care less, which drives me kind of nuts. If I was related to him, it would be on my business card. He earned every drop of his reputation.
• Jack Lambert (PCY – Pittsburgh 1975-1981). The missing teeth and the neck roll made him seem like a raging, caped Dracula, and I don’t think the NFL has had one like him since.

CB - Mel Blount (PCY – Pittsburgh 1974-81)
CB - Mike Haynes (PCY – New England 1976-80 and Los Angeles 1983-85)
How tall was Blount – 6-foot-4? He just looked like a spidery strong presence, capable of covering tons of ground and blowing up anything he caught up to. He was also one of the first guys I remember with that cool bald and bearded look.
Haynes was cool right out of the gate as a rookie, with a smooth stride and heady play. He was beginning to not be as noticed in New England when he went to LA, where he teamed with Lester the Molester to make playing shutdown CB cool again.
Honorable Mention:
• Herb Adderley (PCY - Green Bay 1961-69). Just always looked like he had things under control.
• Ronnie Lott (PCY – San Francisco 1981-90). Best hitter on the field, best cover guy, best runner with a fumble or pick. And wearing No. 42 made him look like a RB playing DB.
• Lester Hayes (PCY – Los Angeles 1980-86). His crouch was just a great stance, just looked primed to ruin a receiver’s day. Even the obscene amount of stickum couldn’t quell his coolness.

S - Joey Browner (PCY - Minnesota, 1984-89)
S - Cliff Harris (PCY - Dallas, 1974-79)
Browner had a unique look to him, with that armor he wore on his arms he looked like part man, part garbage compactor. And he had an unusually large mouthguard that obscured half his face, so all you could see was this ominous scowl he wore. He looked like this huge, emotionless, cool purple villain bent on crushing anything he wanted, and he often did.
Harris had the perfect look for a real Cowboy - bald, mustachioed, lithe and strong. The nickname “Captain Crash” helped his coolness quotient too. Looked like he could have been playing with a cowboy hat on instead of a helmet, a perfect cool guy to fit in with all those guys named Lee Roy playing for Big D.
Honorable Mention:
• Jack Tatum (PCY - Oakland, 1973-78). Yes Tatum was a dirty player, and probably not the sort you’d like to have your daughter bring home, but come on, you can’t tell me his angry-looking face wasn’t a great fit in the silver and black. He brought an element of foreboding and danger that made for theatric coolness (and to be perfectly clear, I’m not forgetting the tragedy of Darryl Stingley and the near-tragedy of Sammy White that Tatum begat. Just saying that around all of that, this guy was a great player to watch.)
• Jake Scott (PCY - Miami, 1971-75). Scott exemplified the heady, athletic play of the no-name defense. Tall, long-striding and agile, Scott looked cool returning punts as well as running back interceptions.

P - Ray Guy (PCY - Oakland/LA, 1973-83)
The only cool punter ever. If you haven’t seen the highlight of Guy breaking four tackles while gaining 21 yards on a run off a busted play against the Steelers in 1973, you have to see it. He also looked sharp throwing passes, and his stab of that high snap in the Super Bowl against the Redskins was clutch athletic cool. He even made the Monday Night Football halftime highlights in 1977 when he launched a punt in Denver that traveled 80 yards in the air. I say this because one of the great legends of college football is that Guy boomed a punt that traveled 93 yards in the air in college. Although it has been verified by reliable sources, I never believed it. But seeing undeniable footage of Guy casually launching an 80-yarder (albeit in the thin air in Denver, but still 80 YARDS!) now I might believe that 93 yards was within his reach as well. Unreal.

KR/PR – (tie) Rick Upchurch (PCY - Denver, 1975-81) and Billy “White Shoes” Johnson (PCY - Houston, 1974-78)
These guys had it all, the sleek look, the incredible moves, breakaway speed, and just an electric presence. Plus they had cool names. Wouldn’t have been the same if their names were Godfrey Zaunbrecher or Florian Kempf.

Kickholder - Nolan Cromwell (PCY - Los Angeles, 1978-82)
Cromwell had a rep as “the best athlete in the NFL” during his prime, and accomplished the incredibly hard feat of making kickholding look cool and athletic, because he always seemed ready to charge up and run with the ball, which he did very successfully several times.
Honorable Mention:
• Dave Logan (PCY - Cleveland, 1977-81). Maybe the tallest (6-4) kick holder ever? He just looked like he could catch any snap as long as it was in the stadium.
• Don Strock (PCY - Miami, 1975-81). As a substitute QB with a rep for throwing, you always had a feeling Strock wanted to pop up and wing one instead of just holding for a kick.

Coach – Vince Lombardi (PCY - Green Bay, 1960-67)
When you say football coach, this is the man who comes to mind. Somehow looked cool even in that odd combo of white dress shirt and plastic visor, but to me the signature Lombardi look is the winter overcoat and winter hat. Man, seeing Lombardi in December on the sideline had to intimidate opponents.
Honorable Mention:
• Tom Landry (PCY – Dallas 1970-85). The fedora, the suit, the expression-less face. You knew Dallas would be ready for you when you saw the always dignified Landry.
• Bill Cowher (PCY – Pittsburgh 1992-2006). Two words: the jaw. Always cool.
• Bill Parcells (PCY – NY Giants 1984-1990). The ultimate Jersey guy as coach of Big Blue. Never looked as cool in all his other stops.
• Bum Phillips (PCY – Houston 1975-80). All the different boots, the cowboy hat, the glasses, the folksy sayings, the complete lack of pre-tense … how much fun would it have been to hang out with Bum in those Luv Ya Blue days?

Ref - Jim Tunney (PCY - whole career, 1960-91)
Tunney looked like the clip art ref on the page in your program that displayed all the signals. His expression never changed, he never seemed hurried or flustered, he was the Jerry West of refs.
Honorable Mention:
• Tommy Bell (PCY - whole career, 1962-76). Lent a southern sheriff flavor to reffing, starting his calls with “We have …” or “We got …” before saying the penalty and distance.

Mascot – Hub Meeds (PCY – Minnesota, 1970-1992)
The guy looked like a real Viking. I mean he looked like he walked around like this all day.
Honorable Mention:
• San Diego Chicken (PCY - 1978-80) – To actually be entertaining and memorable when you’re a weird-looking cartoon chicken (which isn’t the actual team name of any team) -- that’s pretty good.

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#2 JWL
Posted 25 March 2011 - 04:23 PM
Great topic. Immediately I thought of Billy Sims. As for WRs, Don Maynard, Ben Hawkins, and Cliff Branch all deserve consideration. It's just my opinion, of course, but I found nothing cool about Bill Cowher or Bill Parcells.
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#3 Rupert Patrick
Posted 25 March 2011 - 05:31 PM
I wanted to get prescription goggles like Dickerson wore during games.

I would put Chuck Foreman on the cool RB's list. He had a unique style, the way he spun out of tackles. He was one of the most enjoyable RB's to watch.

OJ also had a high coolness factor about him when he was with the Bills. Even in retirement (until 1994) he was the epitome of cool. And he could change direction better than anybody I've ever seen with the possible exception of Gale Sayers.

As far as heavyset kickers, Sebastian Janikowski is a pretty heavyset guy. At 6-2, 250 he is the largest pure kicker I have ever seen.
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#4 Teo
Posted 25 March 2011 - 05:32 PM
Interesting topic, I agree on many of your choices (esp. Stabler, Csonka, Stallworth, Upshaw, Dobler, Alzado and Fritsch).

Others I would consider:

-Fran Tarkenton (unique)
-Chuck Muncie (his lenses and distinctive facemask)
-John Riggins (before and after Joe Gibbs)
-Fred Biletnikoff (I remember seeing a 1970 Pro Bowl highlight and he was unmistakable with a different number, uniform and red helmet)
-Jack Lambert (I would've put him on the first team)
-Dave Butz (loved his scratched helmet, and how his son ran with him after a victory)
-Ted Hendricks (the Mad Stork. Enough said)
-Chris Hanburger (Unmistakable, every play you look for him)
-Lester Hayes (stickum, his facemask and baseball catcher-like posture)
-Bobby Joe Green (I don't remember him, but being the last player without a facemask gives him a place on this team)
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#5 oldecapecod2
Posted 25 March 2011 - 05:58 PM
Cute . . . and well-defined.

But, there's cool and then there is really cool (although it wasn't known as cool way-back when)

QB
Harvard Stadium (too many years ago to remember but sitting in the end zone right behind the play)
Third and short, ball on about the seven or eight, the hunched shoulders bend into the huddle.
The high-tops bring the shuffling gait to the line of scrimmage.
Tight pro set, one Wide left - but not too wide, the snap, the half fake to the diving Fullback, then the short pass to Roy Jefferson (lined up tight to the right) near the fifteen for about eighty-five yards.
Touchdown! Colts
The Patriots stare in wonder.
JU shuffles to the sideline like "no big thing, I do this all the time" - which he did.
That was kinda cool.

PR
Emlen Tunnel waiting out of position for a punt and the rabbits overrunning the coverage.
At the last second, he moves.
Sorry guys, big gain!
That was cool.

KR
Buddy Young waiting for the kick-off.
You just knew something was going to happen.

DE
Doug Atkins after the play reminding a player "Hit me all you want, boy, but don't cut me."
They didn't.

DT
Bob Lilly
Close is cool.

MLB
The Eyes Have It.
Mike Singletary
Intensity was cool.

RB
ElectraGlide in Blue and Orange
Gayle Sayers

The Ultimate "Poster Boy"
The above-mentioned #16 telling New Yorkers why "I light up a Lucky Strike."
Every girl in the city switched to Luckies - a lotta guys too.
Smoking was cool then.

The Poster That Never Was (but shudda been)
A mud-splattered, snot-drippin', chaw droolin' Larry Csonka headin' straight at a just-as-muddy, spittin' and snarlin' Dick Butkus.
"Just Do It!"

The "Before There Was 'Jaws'" Poster (borrowed from the collegiate ranks)
Jim Brown on a break-away coming unchecked at Dick Schaap on the lacrosse field "Far Above Cayuga's Waters. . ."
Katie bar sumthin 'cos there ain't no door!

The coolest play - EVER
The Green Bay Power Sweep

Best Coach's Pre-game Look
Best Coach's Winning Look
Best Coach's Losing Look
Best Coach's Post-Game Look
The Lombardi "Grin" (or was it?)
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#6 BD Sullivan
Posted 25 March 2011 - 06:49 PM
Rupert Patrick, on 25 March 2011 - 06:31 PM, said: OJ...could change direction better than anybody
Unfortunately, he could also change emotions pretty quickly, too.
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#7 oldecapecod2
Posted 25 March 2011 - 07:51 PM
BD Sullivan, on 25 March 2011 - 07:49 PM, said: Unfortunately, he could also change emotions pretty quickly, too.

And gloves ???
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#8 Bob Gill
Posted 25 March 2011 - 07:59 PM
Though obviously Joe Namath is worthy of consideration, I think I'd pick Fran Tarkenton for coolest quarterback. I think he still has more highlight film plays than anybody else -- and they're unlike anybody else's, too -- but in calling him the coolest I'm thinking about the cocky way he walked up to the line and surveyed the defense before calling the signals.

For running back, I don't think anybody has ever been cooler than Jim Brown. Just walking back to the huddle or waiting for the snap, he really stood out. He was also movie-star handsome. And once the play started he was even cooler.
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#9 oldecapecod2
Posted 25 March 2011 - 08:22 PM
Coolest Huddle QB
The fire and brimstone and bootleg breath of Bobby Layne
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#10 JuggernautJ
Posted 25 March 2011 - 08:38 PM
70's Cool: Frenchy Fuqua (he's gotta be on this list somewhere...)
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#11 Reaser
Posted 25 March 2011 - 08:52 PM
Awesome idea, Evan...

My team;

QB: Unitas (the way he walked off the field after the Colts winning TD in the '58 title game, that alone gets him the starting spot, epitome of cool.)
Honorable Mentions:
1. Namath, cool and style I guess go hand in hand so he has to be on my list.
2. Baugh because I like his throwing motion.
3. Bobby Layne because I like the way he stood under center.
4. And then a more "my time" choice, Brett Favre. As a middle school QB I did everything he did because I thought it was cool. I did the fake jump pass after a handoff, I backpedaled about 10 yards after each pass, I walked around practice with my chinstrap snapped on the same side or behind the back of my helmet, I threw underhand passes (and completed them, just for the record, ha), I walked up to the center with my chinstrap undone every single time, and refs always had to tell me to "buckle it," and when we got the volunteer ref crew every few games they wouldn't notice and I'd go through the play with it undone. Hell, everyone in my school seemed to get braces at the same time, and all the girls had the pink "bands", all the guys had blue or bright green ones, and I was the only kid in the school with the clear braces, because Favre had them, I had to have them.

RB: Gale Sayers, obvious reasons. Marshall Faulk is a modern candidate, mostly the 1999 version (the Rams changing uniforms bugged me.)

FB: Jim Taylor, as a kid I got excited when I'd see the old Packers highlights, just to see Jim Taylor, never could describe why, but I'll just go with he was cool to me.

WR: Daryl Turner, especially in '84 and '85. I like the #81, I like the Seahawks, I liked growing up watching recorded games of him catching long passes.

WR: Steve Largent, as a kid every McDonalds I went to in Western Washington had "Largent Fries"...doesn't get much cooler than that for an at the time, six year old kid. Plus unlike a majority of WR's of more recent times, he didn't need gloves to catch the football for him, he actually had skill.

TE: Mark Bavaro, seeing him carry the 49ers as a kid, locked him up as my favorite and the coolest TE.

T: Art Shell, hard for tackles to look cool, but if you're going to pull it off, it's probably easiest to do in a Raiders uniform.

T: Walter Jones, best way to explain it is that in the Seattle area it was (and still is) considered "cool" to be wearing a Walter Jones #71 jersey, people of all shapes at sizes sporting a #71, an odd sight, but he was that cool.

G: Gene Upshaw, has to be...

G: Conrad Dobler. Back in the day one of my basketball coaches was upset with me for getting yet another flagrant foul, and said "You play basketball the way Conrad Dobler played football." Then he said I probably didn't even know who that was, I responded that I did know who he was, and that I took his statement as a compliment. He said it wasn't meant as one. Either way, I thought it was the coolest thing ever at the time, to be compared to Conrad Dobler. Always liked watching his highlights and the NFL Films pieces on him.

C: Jim Otto. 00 as an O-lineman, awesome!

DE: Deacon Jones, the attitude, the Rams uniforms of that era.

DE: Tony Brackens, late 90's and early 2000's with Jaguars, an odd choice but I always thought he was a cool DE.

DT: Joe Greene, easy choice.

DT: Alan Page, my step dad’s favorite player, so I had to hear about him all the time growing up, but the #88 at DT was cool.

OLB: Lawrence Taylor, the way he stood before the snap...

OLB: Derrick Thomas

MLB: Jack Lambert

CB: Deion Sanders. In grade school, from 1988-1994, I "was" Deion Sanders on the playground. I just said I'd cover whoever is the best on the other team, I'd give the cushion, bait the QB, and every recess and after school I'd get at least one pick-6 doing it, and I'de high step our entire 150 yard field, then do his "dance" in the endzone. In youth football I wore #21, as a QB (wasn't until middle school that I had to switch #'s to a "QB #," that day was devastating.) My favorite athlete ever. For the majority of my time from K-6th grade I wore football or basketball jerseys to school each day, and twice a week I'd wear my black Falcons #21 Sanders jersey, and once a week I'd wear my #2 Florida State jersey, and in 6th grade I wore my red 49ers #21 Sanders jersey one day, and my white 49ers #21 Sanders jersey the next. My least favorite team was and still is the 49ers, yet twice a week I'd be wearing a 49ers jersey, Deion was that cool.

CB: Don't want to choose between Night Train Lane and Lester Hayes so they both get the next CB spot. I'm throwing Terrell Buckley (Packers and first stint with the Dolphins) here also. Might as well throw in UNC and 1999 Rams Dre Bly as well, majority of my favorite players and the coolest players are DB's.

S: Kenny Easley, absolute best at his position in his prime, and he looked good doing it. Definition of cool.

S: Ed Reed and Sean Taylor. For about a 10 year period it seemed a majority of my favorite and the "coolest" players came from the U. Two of my favorite college players (that I actually saw live on TV) and #2a and #2b to Easley as my favorite safeties ever. Ed Reed with the ball in his hands, cool. Sean Taylor destroying a punter in the Pro Bowl, awesome! Also always liked when he wouldn't wear gloves and would tape his fingers instead, looked awesome.

Honorable Mention: Because like I said, DB's are always the coolest players, Jack Tatum is my choice for a retired before I was born selection.

K: Lou Groza, a real football player.

P: Ray Guy, Evan summed it up by saying "the only cool punter ever."

KR/PR: Billy "White Shoes" Johnson as the father of cool here, but I have to list Devin Hester as well for the excitement factor, and for wearing #23 as a WR in this era.

Coach: Lombardi.

other coaches: Didn't deserve to be on the same 'line' as Lombardi but Pete Carroll is cool, for a coach in this era. Rex Ryan is cool also. And as a kid I always liked Mike Ditka yelling on the Bears sidelines. Actually even liked him with the Saints, just for the "I think we became a team today" locker room soundbite that I absolutely love for some reason (it's classic Ditka, watch it on youtube or something...)

Owner: Any that vote against relocation, any that have ever realized that while it's a "business," that the game has to come before profits...that might explain Ralph Wilson, and probably not many others, and I'd imagine none of the newer generation of owners.

Commissioner: Pete Rozelle of the 60's and 70's, what a cool commissioner, the only one I can think of in any sport.
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#12 JWL
Posted 25 March 2011 - 10:30 PM
To me, WRs, DBs, RBs, and QBs can be cool. I don't look at linemen or linebackers as being cool. In his oddball book "Rockin' Steady", Walt Frazier wrote that you can't be fat and be cool. Ever since I was a little kid, I never thought the bigger looking NFL players were cool. Of course it is all relative. A typical running back would look big compared to an average person.

Safeties with great ball skills, beards, and a gliding running style are very cool. I'm thinking of Erik McMillan and Ed Reed here.

WRs with great leaping ability, great hands, and loose fitting jerseys are extremely cool. I'm thinking of J.J. Jefferson and Wes Chandler here.

By the way, anybody wearing a revolution helmet (see Peyton Manning and Larry Fitzgerald) cannot possibly be cool because those helmets are anything but cool.
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#13 Reaser
Posted 25 March 2011 - 11:00 PM
JWL, on 25 March 2011 - 09:30 PM, said: By the way, anybody wearing a revolution helmet (see Peyton Manning and Larry Fitzgerald) cannot possibly be cool because those helmets are anything but cool.

Exactly!
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#14 ronfitch
Posted 26 March 2011 - 07:39 AM
Coolest announcers: Dandy Don Meredith and Merlin Olsen. Don for his swagger and humor, the perfect foil to the bombastic Cosell and Olsen for his cool, calm no-need-to-fill the air with my voice authority. Both had a confidence and self-awareness that made you think either might just walk away at halftime to do something else that interests them and never come back.

Max McGee (Packer radio) had that as well.
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#15 26554
Posted 26 March 2011 - 07:42 AM
Nice work, Evan!

Here's a few more -

QB: Joe Montana: they didn't call him 'Joe Cool' for nothing
Sonny Jurgensen: had a lot of the same qualities (both on the field and off) as Namath and Stabler, even though he didn't necessarily look the part. Had a better overall career than Namath and Stabler, too.
Jim McMahon: I know the 'punky qb' became kind of a polarizing figure as time went on, but I always thought he was cool when I was a kid. It wasn't only because of his fashion accessories (headbands, shades, etc.) and his antics (mooning a helicopter a few days prior to SB XX), but also his playing style. He sort of played the game more like a linebacker/lineman (he was even known to headbutt his linemen after a big play) than a qb.

RB: Walter Payton: Not only one of (if not the) most complete players in NFL history, but also one of the coolest to watch, whether he was stiff-arming would be tacklers, diving over the top for touchdowns or occasionally throwing for them. He also had a cool nickname.

WR: Lynn Swann: Can't have Stallworth without Swann. He made some of the coolest, most graceful/acrobatic catches ever. And they usually came at key moments, too.

John Gilliam: There's recently been some discussion about him here. Looked cool catching all those long bombs.

DE: L.C. Greenwood: Unique both for his height and speed, as well as his famous gold shoes.

S: Troy Polamalu: Both for the hair and his amazing athletic/playmaking ability

K: Garo Yepremian: Yeah, that 'pass' in SB VII wasn't too cool, but I think he had that "doesn't really look like an athlete" quality that Evan is talking about. Gotta love the 'bald on top with long, bushy sideburns' look that he sported. Very 70's. He was a very good place kicker for a number of years, too.

P: Reggie Roby: Hate to disagree, Evan, but I think he also qualifies as a cool punter, with those high, booming kicks that seemed to hang in the air forever. He was arguably better at that at times than Guy was. Even wore a wristwatch to time how long his punts stayed in the air.
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#16 BD Sullivan
Posted 26 March 2011 - 09:27 AM
This (from the 12/24/73 SI) says it all about Frenchy Fuqua:

Frenchy Fuqua, Pittsburgh Steeler running back and the flashiest dresser in football (if not the whole world). To underline his lavender jumpsuits, floor-length capes and Cavalier hats, he has ordered a pair of glass-heeled shoes, each heel to be filled with water and contain a live tropical fish selected from his aquarium to match the color of the day's outfit.
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#17 oldecapecod2
Posted 26 March 2011 - 10:57 AM
BD Sullivan, on 26 March 2011 - 10:27 AM, said: This (from the 12/24/73 SI) says it all about Frenchy Fuqua: Frenchy Fuqua, Pittsburgh Steeler running back and the flashiest dresser in football (if not the whole world). To underline his lavender jumpsuits, floor-length capes and Cavalier hats, he has ordered a pair of glass-heeled shoes, each heel to be filled with water and contain a live tropical fish selected from his aquarium to match the color of the day's outfit.


Some guys buy fish; some guys buy teenage girls.
Some guys are cool; some guys are beyond despicable.

http://aol.sportingn...s-no-conscience

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#18 ronfitch
Posted 26 March 2011 - 02:35 PM
Frenchy, after the package arrived:

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=OQKKgNC5EpM
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#19 bachslunch
Posted 27 March 2011 - 10:40 AM
Really fun thread, and most every player I can think of is listed here.

I'd probably add Ben Davidson as an honorable mention to the DEs, but otherwise the bases look well covered.

And Lou Groza in the 1960s was the fattest kicker I ever remember seeing. He looked with a beer barrel with legs, but he was an effective kicker nonetheless.
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#20 oldecapecod2
Posted 27 March 2011 - 06:12 PM
OMIGOSH !!!

How could we all forget . . . one of the coolest of them all

"Fatso" (Artie Donovan)

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james
Posted 28 March 2011 - 10:07 AM
Leo "The Lion" Nomellini
Hugh "The King" McElhenny

Two great players. The Lion is the "King of Beasts" and having the nickname "The King" you have to be cool.
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#22 oldecapecod2
Posted 28 March 2011 - 10:47 AM
The coolest "Dancing with the Stars" gotta watch segment . . .

Les Bingaman, Art Donovan, Lou Groza, and Richard Perry

Now, pair 'em up with . . .

Rosie O'Donnell, Janet Reno, Marge Schott, and Kate Smith

The Ladies' Sports' Connections:
O'Donnell - "A League of Their Own"
Reno - Super Bowl XLI TV commercial
Schott - Cincinnati Reds
Smith - Philadelphia Flyers
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#23 BD Sullivan
Posted 28 March 2011 - 12:51 PM
If I had to match them up:

Donovan and O'Donnell
Groza and Smith
Bingaman and Reno
Perry and Schott
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#24 oldecapecod2
Posted 28 March 2011 - 02:59 PM
Hmmmmm . . .

O'Donnell probably would not be chirping away for too long;
and Marge might be a tad more careful about her "remarks."

As for the other pairs ???

Any underlying reasons why?
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#25 BD Sullivan
Posted 28 March 2011 - 03:36 PM
Groza and Smith: a classy combination; Bingaman and Reno: size matters--they could look each other in the eye.
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#26 oldecapecod2
Posted 28 March 2011 - 04:48 PM
Thought maybe as the trend had shifted to almost all low quarters that Groza's shoes looked like hockey skates in comparison?
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#27 Rupert Patrick
Posted 28 March 2011 - 05:18 PM
Another cool guy with the moniker of "The King" was the late King Corcoran. His NFL career was short, but he spent a number of years in the minor leagues and achieved immortality thru the NFL Films documentary about the early 70's Pottstown Firebirds. I remember from the program his lavish lifestyle, which included a phone in his car; one can only guess how many dollars per minute it cost to use that car phone. Wikipedia referred to King Corcoran as "The poor man's Joe Namath".
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#28 ronfitch
Posted 28 March 2011 - 05:46 PM
King Corcoran’s NFL career was only one game with the Patriots, after being cut by the Broncos and spending a year on the Jets' taxi squad. Lots of stories about him. The NFL Films' documentary is fun, and the book by Jay Acton ("The Forgettables") is a good read about the Pottstown team. He later played in the WFL, leading the league in TD passes one season. By many accounts, he was an original right up until the end in 2009.
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#29 Rupert Patrick
Posted 28 March 2011 - 06:08 PM
If King Corcoran would have had half the talent of Joe Namath, he would have been a household name. While he didn't have the talent, he did have the same swagger about him. After he left Football he had a Vegas lounge act for many years.
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#30 BD Sullivan
Posted 28 March 2011 - 08:56 PM
Here's an article from July 2009, a month or so after King Corcoran’s death:

http://www.washingto...-off-it/?page=1
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#31 Todd Pence
Posted 30 March 2011 - 03:07 PM
QB - Joe Namath
RB - John Riggins
WR - Steve Largent
DL - Jim Marshall
LB - Mike Curtis
DB - Lem Barney
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#32 Teo
Posted 30 March 2011 - 04:57 PM
Other player I just remember (due to the George Allen post) who should have a spot in the All-Cool Team is Ron McDole "The Dancing Bear". He played 18 seasons (1961-1978) and was the last defensive lineman who used a double-bar facemask, he appeared in the mid-70's to be a player from the early 50's. It's amazing also that he only missed a game in his last 15 seasons.

http://www.bestsport...es//t_39968.jpg

[Bryan]

Missed this thread the first time around. Evan's descriptions are spot on, including his referee spots. When I think of "cool", I think of someone who either makes things look effortless or exudes an attitude of not giving a damn. Here are a few guys on my team, many of whom have already been mentioned.

QB - Bob Waterfield...never really said much. Somewhat aloof. Read a story comparing Waterfield to Van Brocklin -- it said that while Van Brocklin would chew out a lineman who let his man get by him, Waterfield wouldn't say anything. Instead, he'd slowly walk over to the lineman, stop, and punch him as hard as he could in the stomach.

RB - Marcus Allen...he could do it all and make it look easy. I agree with the Grant Hill comparison.

RB - Lenny Moore...he and Len Ford are two "time machine" guys who were present-day athletes in the 1950s.

WRs - Lofton and Stallworth

OT - Mike Kenn...perhaps not overpowering, but never really missed a game, had a holding penalty, or gave up a sack.

OG - Sam Davis and Eugene Upshaw

C - Dwight Stephenson...lack of padding made him seem even stronger

K - Bert Rechichar...could make an interception, get caught short of the endzone, then have to kick his own FG. I believe he shattered the FG distance record on his first attempt.

DE - LC Greenwood...he could destroy people like Staubach and Newhouse yet make it seem like he didn't do anything.

OLB - Isiah Robertson...glad he got mentioned. Everything about him was cool. He made a lot of big plays for the Rams, but we then kind of tossed aside in the middle of his prime.

OLB - Ted Hendricks...perhaps the coolest person to play in the NFL. A great blend of effortlessness and rebel.

CB - Lem Barney

CB - Eric Allen...Don't think he'll get into the HOF, but I always loved Allen. It seemed like he could defend against any type of WR with minimal effort.

S - Jake Scott...one of my favorite players of all-time. Never called a fair catch. Hated the NCAA, so went to the CFL. Hated Don Shula. But a genius on the field and an interesting guy.

Coach - Ray Malavasi & Bum Phillips

Ref - Jerry Seeman...would have a mock smile while making penalty annoucements.